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The Guests You'd Rather Not Have at Your Wedding

Written by:

in The Wedding Market

Posted on July 7, 2015

Largely due to an Emily Post-like obsession with tradition and manners that creeps over all couples when it’s time to do something as formal as getting married, we tend to over invite. You have to include family, friends from multiple stages of your life, and even that neighbor you never really played with but lived down the street during your entire adolescence.

The very modern concepts of highly selective guest lists, and opting out of the involvement of wedding party members like bridesmaids and groomsmen, haven’t yet reached critical mass. That is to say, not everyone is ready to be so bold. Of course this means we’ll continue to see weddings filled with all sorts of guests who are varying levels of interesting.

The Unclaimed Child

Whose kid is this, and is he about to dip his hands into the champagne fountain? A question that has been asked by many brides before you and will likely be asked by many brides after. Organizing a child free wedding is one way around this, although that rarely seems an option for many couples; especially couples with big families.

The Drunk and/or Creepy Uncle

What’s a family gathering without a bit of inappropriate touching, remarks, and excessive drinking? It’ll likely be the same relative you see this behavior from at every other event who won’t be able to pull it together for yours.

Whoever Gives the Inevitably Horrid Toast

No matter if it’s the best man who everyone thinks is hilarious, according to him, or a distant aunt or cousin who has found a way to make the toast and somehow the entire occasion all about them, there’s always one.

That Bridesmaid…

Who knows how she’ll strike? It may be a romp with the groomsman; it may be a wardrobe malfunction. No matter what she gifts you, the true gift she’s come bearing is the cringe worthy surprise you just know is coming.

That Groomsman…

The male counterpart to that bridesmaid; you love to be around him but question whether or not he’ll ever truly be able to get it together.

The Less than Enthused (and even less skilled) Bartender

He’s served us all before. Maybe in your case it was a she? But one thing is for certain, they’ve got a gift for not being amazing at their job. If you didn’t know any better you’d think this particular breed of bartender was serving drinks at a slower pace to wait until the open bar turns into a paid one. Also, you could swear you just saw him pour vodka into the rocks margarita you just ordered.


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