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Perfect Venue Not so Perfect Service | When You Want Them and They Don’t Want You

Written by:

in The Wedding Market

Posted on March 9, 2016

An experience with a rep for a certain resort in Texas on the bridal show scene sprung the question: What happens if you fall in love with a venue for your wedding but the service makes the place less than welcoming? There are good and bad business transactions and everyday interactions with others that occur all the time, so why would the world of wedding planning be any different?

If a venue has an in house coordinator, planner, or sales rep who you just can’t seem to
click with no matter how you try (and I’m not saying you have to want to go out and have drinks; only that you’re able to work together in a productive and positive way in order to organize your special day) you may feel that it simply is not worth the stress and leave it at that. However, you may decide to work at it and go ahead with the location you have selected.

How will you do it?

Take the lead. According to this article in Forbes which you may have guessed has nothing to do with weddings or marriage - but is completely relevant anyway, leadership hinges on the ability to healthily address conflict in a productive way – Are your conflict resolution skills up to shape?

These pointers may be able to help no matter how skilled you believe you are!

1. Speak clearly but unemotionally about the elephant in the room – remember that bit about productivity – define expectations going forward after structuring the best way to directly address the situation while it is going on and with whoever is involved. Your goal is to have the wedding you want where you want and to have it go as well as possible.

Barriers that stop collaborative collaboration are a nasty result of unsolved conflict; you want there to be an open exchange of ideas, collaboration, valuable input, and a willingness/ability to accept and accomplish delegated tasks (while perhaps delegating a task or two themselves) on the part of the individual involved with your wedding as a result of the venue you have chosen. Protect the event by keeping the event in mind ahead of anything else when working to solve the issue.

2. Find out if it is an option to work with a different planner, coordinator, etc., if you aren’t able to nip things in the bud early on by engaging the problematic venue employee you’ll need to collaborate with personally. A perk of addressing tension based on feelings of receiving bad service, rude staff, not having your needs met, or whatever it may be… is that you can find out early if it working with another employee of the venue is possible.

You’re being proactive and not overly demanding by asking to work with someone who is willing to work with you; especially at a sensitive time when tension can run high anyway. This is what counts. Winning a rep. or planner of a wedding venue as a friend is not your goal; neither is making a new enemy or giving someone an excuse not to go above and beyond for you on your day! Do what you can.

3. Come to a compromise. Big things and memories are what lots of brides say matter most. Try to keep this in mind. Is there anything you want that can be sacrificed?

Maybe you’ll decide to incorporate certain details into the wedding instead of the reception or vice versa if the two evens are taking place at two different venues.

4. Don’t be manipulated. Recognize if you are being made to question your value as a patron; don’t be entitled, but don’t let anyone convince you it is a privilege for you to give them your money. Do something about it (see the fist two options for a great place start!)

This all goes back to previously mentioned Forbes article. You’re a leader in the situation so to speak, and there’s at least one respected expert in the corporate world (the author of the article) who believe leaders must be able to recognize manipulation when it is happening, and not tolerate it.

5. Try to find the source of the problem before it can grow. We might have conflict because of reasons like opposing perspectives, ego and pride, or jut because someone is having a bad day. There may be other reasons, but there’s no need in listing every possible assumption to be made about why there is an issue between you and a person who you don’t really know; especially in a professional situation.

Consider what you might be able to do (a shift in tone, body language, whatever it may be…) that could help to immediately alleviate the situation; it may not always be you who needs o make the adjustment, but not everyday is your best day either. Have channels of communication been as clear as they could be? Maybe there is another instant fix approach (looks like they do exist in this case!)

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