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After the Wedding – Hot Topics in Marriage & Merging Lives

Written by:

in The Wedding Market

Posted on February 9, 2016

With many statistics showing modern couples who are choosing to get married at all are choosing to do it later in life than the couples from only a couple of generations before them, it is fair to expect that today’s couples will face their own unique challenges and perspectives when entering this stage of life together; likely one in a series of stages, like moving in, that further commitment and often happen out of the order in which is still largely considered the status quo – a 33% higher rate of divorce has been found in today’s couples who wait to move in after marriage, according to a statistic quoted in an article from “The Atlantic” titled “The Science of Cohabitation…”; however, according to Meg Jay, PhD, this can cause some couples to stay in relationship longer than they should for lack of an “escape hatch”.

In any case, the realities and (some) perceived realities of what it is to be a newly married couple today have led to an increase in the amount of couples who seek counseling or some sort of external marital assistance before and after the wedding day – 78% of married adults said they believed pre-marital counseling helped their marriages according to a YourTango survey sited in the “Chicago Tribune” article “Therapy before Vows…” by Jen Weigel.

With sustainability as a hot button issue, making donations of clothing, extra reception food, or even furniture you find yourself with more than enough of may be a priority for you as a newly married couple soon after the wedding – one that your parents did not have in mind. Even the question of how you will continue your familial traditions, what entering this stage means to you, and whether or not you’ll start a family of your own (adopting or having your own biological children) are major ones that we may glaze over in nesting or honeymoon phases. But while a wedding is a major day, a marriage is meant to last a lifetime; and you want it to be an incredible one! It’s worth working out the details and having an uncomfortable conversation if necessary.

Because we can only control what we can no matter what the statistics or experts say, keep in mind things like…

WISE WARDROBING Some of the big wedding day choices can translate to great married life choices if you think ahead. The personally captured gown pictured below is from the Damsel White Label fashion show - elegant, modern, and fit to stun as you crush the corporate party scene as a married couple; after having it died or keeping the original white!

Photo Credit: Ashley Jones (Author)

TRAVEL It is an instant post wedding priority due to the tradition of the honeymoon, but why is it that we only find it important to leave our corner of the world behind to explore the world together as a married couple once? The ranges at which travel agents can be attained are wide; some agencies don’t charge fees at all and many advertise in bridal spaces and at bridal events. They aren’t hard to find; keep a good one in your corner and prioritize if it matters to you.

Don’t have the money to escape to the Eiffel Tower…. No even the one in Vegas? Get creative. Consider a casino chain that may have a location in a smaller market with other resort destinations or attractions nearby for a customizable vacay that isn’t so far from home on a log weekend. Go for luxury and space away from family style resorts after the baby to reconnect, and use travel as a way to bond as a family while exposing your future children and yourself to the culture and lessons to be experienced around the globe!

Here’s a quick checklist to help you to continue down the path of planning not only for the wedding day, but for the many days of marriage that you choose when saying “I do”!

1. Approaches to Work/Life Balance

What kind of income do you see yourself bringing to the table? Who is responsible for what, how much time is expected to be spent away from work and with each other? How important is personal time to the two of you as individuals?

2. Parenting Style

Are you disciplinarians, what beliefs will affect how you raise children, what is most important to you in bringing them up to be healthy, positive, and proactive adults?

3. Quality of Life

Do you see yourself in a loft or ranch style home? What will be the prevailing style of décor and what is important in a neighborhood; school district, vicinity to the arts, neighbors?

4. Views on Lifestyle

Are you the get up and go types? How likely are either of you to take big risk; what sort?

Desiree Hartsock – Photo Credit: Ashley Jones (Author)

Who do you feel comfortable knowing your husband or wife is looking to for advice when and if they need it? How will you help yourselves with available resources and how important is privacy?

From Desiree Hartsock to Dan Savage, and even yours truly, there’s lots of relationship advice out there, and pointers on just being the best you as you deal with anyone; even yourself. Find the voice, or voices, that speak to you both, and that work well for you as individuals who have made a commitment out of love.

5. Finances

Budgeting - who is responsible for who and what may be something you feel you have a handle on, especially if you’ve been living together before the wedding, but the more you actually talk this through and express how you feel about money (you’ll be clearer on this as it becomes something that you manage together) the better you’ll be at tackling financial issues and creating financial security that’ll keep things flowing a little easier even when the pressure is on elsewhere.

Anything left out that you think is a major part of married life and not just the wedding day? Let us know about it - contact Genesis Diamonds (@GenesisDiamondz) and the author Ashley J., lifestyle writer and creative professional, via Twitter @_Ashtronaut

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